| R.I.P Butters
10/24/09
=*(
heartache... I cried alot...
Thank you Lord Father for holding my hand tightly through it...
|
| |
| I don't feel myself these days...been feeling lost...wanting to just fade into cracks in the wall...
after much and much thought...
was is this?
hopelessness and faithlessness, perhaps.
|
| |
| I am loved...
it is a very Happy Birthday indeed!
|
| |
| It's a new season...
There is this feeling of sadness,
that time has passed
that all things have moved further in that (delicate but overpowering) line-of-Time
some things we are happy to see move away
and some we can't believe are not there anymore.
The Past always was to me,
something I didn't enjoy looking back upon.
It was always a Haunting, that taunted me.
For when I looked back,
it made me lose faith in every way possible.
Inside I would hopelessly wish that this-future-Time
things wouldn't be so bad.
It's different now.
For the first time I can look back on the previous year
and not recoil from it.
I am baffled, shocked, in disbelief,
that I am not hurt or in pain or in regret
but am actually happy, hopeful and excited.
I can relax (loosen up/let go)
Fingers - instead of being balled up into fists, lay out flat enough to hold another hand
Flowers - just as they do when they bloom
Now there is joy and excitement that Time will bring with it,
something new & good to our lives
more happiness, more laughs,
more Lives into God's.
I Hope for Addition in all the good ways.
Particular to this season of Fall,
I feel this sense of Rest, or Peace
This sense of Laying Down....
The way the gliding leaf must feel
as it breaks from it's once-home-of-a-branch
and looks around to find
its existence rests entirely upon a new floor
and how thankful, but scary, that lack of control
must have been.
-------
i lay awake by myself.
late at night...
"when all the world is sleeping"
and think...to myself...
gosh why am i so restless...
questions whirl around my mind
scenarios play out against each other
i'm left wondering
till my eyelids win against me
and i succumb to the drowsiness
|
| |
| Pitter Patter my days with
hands that lift up clouds
and eyes that see ladders
leading the way into Your house.
My smiles, You bring.
They cannot hide from
even my own downfalls.
You are
the sunlight between my curtains
water flowing
between still mountains
trickling into
the concrete walls surrounding the laws I abide
the callus of a heart born soft
built by time
(the devil, or perhaps I).
|
| |
